Profound words from William Shakespeare, "It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves." 

Each day you have the ability to make the choice to take control of your life, or to let it control you. You can either be proactive, or you can let circumstances call the shots. Take 100% responsibility of your life. Yes, of course other people have an effect on us. But in every case, you have a responsibility for what you’re doing about it now. 

We blame our friends, boss or colleagues, relationships, family for making us stressed. You've got two choices: either you learn to accept the current status quo, or you take full responsibility for making it change. Yes, responsibility sometimes means admitting our part in screwing things up. But it’s also empowering: when you’re responsible for something, you can change it. This is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time. Take control!

I think there is nothing more important as a first step, than taking full responsibility for what happens in our life. A lot of what we describe as success in life flows directly from it. Many people think about their lives as something that just happens to them instead of something that they can control themselves. They drift through life reacting to the actions of others instead of taking steps on their own behalf. Such people are like rudderless boats on the ocean, completely at the mercy of the tides to take them wherever they will. People, who don’t know where they are going, usually end up where they don’t want to be. So to sum it up in one sentence: You are responsible!

In the case of a boat on the sea, sooner or later the shifting currents will run it aground or break it upon the rocks. Most people would agree that it would be much better if someone steered the boat past the danger and out into clear waters instead. People are just the same. If we don’t take control of the direction our lives will take we leave ourselves to the mercy of others, often with disastrous consequences.

Always remember the wise words of Irene C. Kassorla, "The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand."

Ashley D. Mwanza

Many people try, well rather most people try but you can’t plan your life out. From the moment most of us enter school, we start thinking of how our lives will go. What college/university we will go to, what job we will get, or what career we will venture in. It’s an arduous list of plans, checklists and goals over things we really have no control over; unless you live your life so carefully, you hardly live at all.
 

You see, it’s the surprises, the changes, the unanticipated moments that mould your life. It’s the things you don’t plan that alter your future and have a large hand in who you are to become. It’s the bumps along the way, the unforeseen potholes, and the strangers you pick up. It’s the forks in the road, the unmarked road signs and the wrong turns that lead you to where you should ultimately end up.

The difference is how you react to those changes. Do you warmly accept and welcome the unexpected or do you try to fight it, slamming the door in its face?

For those who try to fight the unpredicted, life seems more like a battlefield than a playground of new opportunity. Fighting the unexpected only sets them up for a lifetime of challenges and lost battles. Because you can’t fight the unforeseen, it will only enter through an unlocked window.

Those who have learned to truly live know that the unforeseen should not be fought but welcomed. The unanticipated is inevitable and you can either choose to greet it like an enemy or welcome it as a friend who is going to bring you to new places and introduce you to new people in your life.

The unexpected is missing your flight and spending the day in the airport lounge talking to strangers who end up inviting you to their party. It’s the time your train is delayed so you take another that has a stop in a totally different town for a couple of days. It’s not getting into the college/university of your dreams, but getting into another you never considered, where you end up meeting your best friends for life. It’s when you didn’t get that job you wanted and spent the day sulking in bed. But lo and behold another job was offered to you, one that changed everything.

Because life is never going to work out how you planned and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you will start greeting the unexpected with open arms. Let the unknown, the unplanned and the possibility of change excite you and keep the future an unknown secret that can only be found out through time.

It’s the unforeseen that changes your life that takes you to new places and brings you to new people. It’s what adds vitality and mystery to our seemingly dull lives. So let the unexpected take you to places you never knew, introduce you to friends you’ve never met and bring new meaning to your life.

The unforeseen is not a deviation from the plan; it’s just the new plan. Changes, unforeseen occurrences and surprises are what help define your future. It’s the plan that you didn’t realize you had, but should most definitely adhere to. The unforeseen should never be viewed as bad, but a necessary detour on the highway of life.

It’s that job you got when you didn’t get the other one. It’s the people you met when you missed your train who introduced you to new things, a new world. It’s the towns you discovered when you took another path, because the other was closed.

Being able to “roll with the punches” is a very admirable and important trait. Being able to adapt to change and welcome it will make life not only a lot easier, but also more fun.

It will open another world of opportunity and give you a freedom many people will never experience. Because being able to adapt to change and understand it as a good thing is a necessary quality to living stress free and also as freely and confidently as that soulful bunch that just lets life take them where they should go.

The unforeseen is a friend in itself, but it is also the key to meeting new ones. Without change, there would be no reason to meet anyone new. There would be no room for new people or new experiences. It’s the unexpected that brings you to the new places with the new people who have yet to make an impression on your life.

Without the unforeseen, you would have never met those people in the airport or your best friends at college/university. There’s a lot of interesting people out there and the unexpected is just the stops on the path to meeting them.

Only those who are ready for the unforeseen can live a full life. Those who are excited by the unknown and the unplanned are those who are most free, the least unshackled by the monotony of life. They are ready for everything, yet at the same time, never ready. Accepting the unforeseen as a welcomed friend is the only way to stay ahead of the game, to not let change knock you down or to be afraid to face the unknown.

If you’re the kind of person who looks at life with a “glass half full” mentality, then you know that every missed opportunity is just another opportunity waiting to be unveiled. Because there is no such thing as shut doors, just ones that have yet to be opened. Every wrong turn, every mistake, every delay is just another opportunity to experience something new.

It’s the missed chances that turn into new opportunities, opportunities that would have never arisen if you didn’t miss that flight or get into your chosen college/university. Not getting that job you wanted just means you were meant for a different one, one that may be better for you.

The unforeseen can be hard to embrace to the extent to which we human beings sometimes fiercely resist it, and how that resistance can sometimes jeopardize our chances of meeting our personal goals.

Figuring out how to “bridge” to a new set of circumstances can feel so daunting. This can even be true even when the unforeseen is positive. Yet, in spite of the challenges in managing through a transition, I have learned from my own experience that embracing the unexpected and evaluating its ramifications may likely result in positive outcomes.

Compiled by Ashley Mwanza from various sources.

In three words, blunt and absolute, Jesus commanded us, "Do not judge." But did he really mean that we should never judge others? He goes on to suggest that it's not the act of judging but the attitude with which we do it that God is most concerned about, "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged." 

Judgment is an important piece of work that God calls us to do, especially in a world going morally haywire. Common sense suggests that if no one ever judged other people, there would be no real human community. In a sinful world, no community can exist for long where nobody is ever held accountable. No citizen would sit on a jury or call a failed leader to account. And, when you come to think of it, nobody would ever forgive anyone for wrongs he/she had done; we only forgive people for what we blame them, and we blame them only after we have judged them.

We have a moral responsibility to judge the moral behaviour of others but only if we are humbly aware that we will sometimes be dead wrong and never totally right. We must remember that our ability to judge is limited and especially that we are not perfect people who will ourselves, one day, come under judgment.

Jesus warns his disciples against following the traditions and practices of the Pharisees, who judged others as if they themselves were beyond judgment. Do not be like the Pharisees. Most likely, Jesus meant, "Do not judge at all if you judge others the way the Pharisees do. If you do judge people this way, you will be judged with the same severity." Jesus' intent comes out in his metaphor of motes/twigs/splinters and beams/logs. We all have beams/logs in our eyes, so to speak; to judge people for the little motes/twigs/splinters stuck in their eyes while we have big beams in our own is devilish arrogance as well as folly.

Let's not try to fix but to love. "Let the one who is without fault be the first to cast a stone." - Jesus Christ

Ashley Mwanza 

This life can drain the happiness right out of you. With mini-disasters striking left and right, is it any wonder you might begin to think bad things about yourself? Everywhere you look, there is someone pointing out what is wrong with you. Nothing is the way it was supposed to be, and people are eager to let you know how you have disappointed them.

Slowly it gets to you, and you wither inside thinking bad thoughts about yourself. You come to think that if everyone is saying that you are a failure, it must true, right? Feeling this way can make you cringe when you look into the mirror and this self-dread can cast a shadow onto everything in your life. What happens is that after a while, you begin to hear that criticism from yourself. You adopt it as your own. This little voice inside haunts you, telling you that you are not good enough, that you are a failure. The more people who pile on you, the worse you feel. You feel like there is something wrong with you and may even find yourself apologizing for not being good enough.

Though you may not consider such thoughts to be harmful, thinking so little of yourself can do a lot of damage. No matter how many people tell you that you don’t measure up, don’t let that colour how you see yourself. If you make mistakes, then you make mistakes. That does not mean that you are anything less than wonderful. You are not a failure. Tough experiences (not failures) have taught you valuable lessons.

If you stay in the negativity and let it define you, then you have been defined by something other than you. You need to define you. This is the only way you will find happiness. Define the true you and don’t let anyone treat you in a way that makes you feel worthless. Think of all the good things that you have done, and let those good thoughts fill your heart.

Remember that you are a beautiful person who deserves better than being called a failure. YOU DESERVE BETTER. Remember that. All you need is a little reminder that you are someone that matters. Never apologize for not being good enough because you are a person with value who deserves happiness. Don't let others abuse you, and don't abuse yourself. Let your spirit soar to great heights knowing that you are just fine. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE and never will be. YOU ARE WONDERFUL. 

Compiled by Ashley Mwanza with borrowed text.

AS much as we love smooth waters, an Arab proverb states that smooth waters do not make skilful sailors. In this journey called life, the question is not, "Will storms arise?" Rather, the question is, "When will the next storm arise?" And even more important than that question is, "What type of person will I be when the next storm arises?"

During hardships and calamities, it is natural to get swept away by the affliction of the moment. During such trials of faith, determination and willpower, unless we are careful, an injection of fear and a planting of doubts in our hearts and minds occur. Our beliefs in such vulnerable states may become overpowered by feelings of the moment resulting in the dwindling of our hope. All in all, we may find ourselves lost, helpless, and stalled finding it difficult to gather ourselves and move forward. The biggest weakness in all of humanity is giving up, calling it quits, throwing in the towel. 

One major change that has helped me overcome much of my anxiety is adopting faith in the fact that everything will work out. In my darkest times, I used to panic when the littlest thing would go wrong. If something doesn't go your way, or the unexpected threatens to shove you against the wall enough to knock you out, do you hold onto the faith that things will work out? I ask because this is the key to how you handle life. As much as we’d love to control every situation we get thrown into, the truth is that all we can control is how we react to situations.

Napoleon Hill reminds us that, "The strongest oak of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. It’s the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for its existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun." Be the oak and you will come out stronger. You should actively keep the faith in your own life. You should not give up, crumble, or let the challenges you’re faced with overcome you. Today is the day you should stand up strong and allow challenges to come your way, knowing that you’ll come out stronger on the other side. Keep the faith! Stay strong!

Ashley Mwanza - 19/05/2014

MANY of us come from humble beginnings. We make something of ourselves through pursuit of knowledge, integrity, hard work, and a bit of good fortune. Yes, people have every right to be proud of the success that they've earned. But that doesn't give them the right to be rude or disrespectful to others.

Some people get a big thrill from boasting about their accomplishments or showing off their possessions. They've convinced themselves that they’re better than others are. The fact is, some folks let success go to their head, and they gain a weird satisfaction from pushing people around. That’s wrong. On the other hand, just as it’s disgusting for the “haves” to look down on others, it’s equally disdainful for “have-nots” to resent those who've worked hard and have rightfully earned their success.

The truth is, all the money in the world doesn't make you a better person. It simply means that you have more money. Real wealth is achieved by appreciating what you already have in life. After all, money can’t buy everything. It can’t buy a close-knit family, good friends, a clear conscience, work-life balance, a happy home, a second chance in life, among other things.

Money and success can’t buy a person’s trust or guarantee a good reputation. You earn these through your words AND actions. There’s nothing more valuable in life than integrity. Trust me!

So, don’t let success go to your head. Be humble. Humility is a sign of strength, not weakness. People with humility possess an inner peace. They’re modest about their achievements, grounded in their values, and they have nothing to prove to others. They’re down to earth, comfortable in their own skin, and quietly proud. Humble people shift their focus from taking to giving, from talking about themselves to listening to others, from hoarding the credit to deflecting the praise, and from being a “know-it-all” to knowing there’s so much more in life worth learning. There’s no ego, no pretense, and certainly no gamesmanship. Humble people are authentic. As C. S. Lewis said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”

 --- Frank Sonnenberg with additions by Ashley Mwanza

For some Christian denominations, the season of sacrifice is now underway and will end on April 17, 2014. 40 days of prayer, fasting and personal sacrifice mark the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. When a man leaves on a journey, he must know where he is going. Thus is the case with Lent. Above all, Lent is a spiritual journey and its destination is Easter, "the Feast of Feasts." It is the preparation for the "fulfilment of Pascha, the true Revelation."

 

Lent is a recession for the soul. It gives you an opportunity to do without and consider what's really important. Lent reminds us that everything we enjoy is a gift. In times like this, it reminds us that jobs and opportunities are divine gifts, not rights.

 

Throughout Lent there are three acts we can do to adequately prepare for Easter; fasting, prayer and almsgiving.

 

The act of fasting is somewhat misconstrued nowadays throughout Lent as people tend to give up something up for the sake of it, myself included. But fasting is the desire to be more like Jesus and walk with Him through the desert and along the journey; to prepare ourselves for Easter. Personal desires for things we do not necessarily need can often get in the way of our relationship with Jesus and so when we give these things up and erase our ‘I want’ statements, we give ourselves a much better chance of really becoming closer to Jesus.

Fasting is probably the most well-known aspect to Lent from a social point of view, but the most important part of Lent is prayer. Prayer is the easiest and best way to become closer to God and is vital in preparing to celebrate Jesus’ death and resurrection. As little as 5 minutes a day dedicated to prayer makes such a huge different if we are open to it. There are many books and guides available for Lenten prayer and meditation that are very short and very helpful for daily use.

Almsgiving is giving help through money, support, labour, food and many other things. There are many great charities and societies that have campaigns throughout Lent that need much help and support. For some of us though, money is not always a viable option of giving and so we turn to other forms of giving. Small and subtle ways of helping are often the best and so random acts of kindness and compassion never go astray.

Fasting, prayer and almsgiving are the best ways to prepare ourselves for Easter. To allow ourselves to truly appreciate the amazing love that Jesus has for each one of us and the unimaginable value he has placed within us through His sacrifice on the cross and His resurrection.

Each year Lent and Easter are, once again, the rediscovery and the recovery by us of what we were made through our own baptismal death and resurrection.

A journey, a pilgrimage! Yet, as we begin it, as we make the first step into the "bright sadness" of Lent, we see far, far away the destination. It is the joy of Easter; it is the entrance into the glory of the Kingdom. And it is this vision, the foretaste of Easter, which makes Lent's sadness bright and our Lenten effort a "spiritual spring." The night may be dark and long, but all along the way a mysterious and radiant dawn seems to shine on the horizon.

Summing up then, Lent is thus a time in which the Gospel should challenge us, disturb us and unsettle our present judgments. It is also the time for preparation for the Triduum so that we can go to the cross like Christ and put to death all in us not worthy of a child of God in order to renew our own baptismal vows at the Paschal Vigil. We should endeavour therefore to make progress on our pilgrimage journey to the Promised Land. As Leo the Great expressed it:

“None of us, dear friends, is so perfect and holy, as to make reflection and improvement unnecessary. All of us, regardless of rank or dignity, should be concerned to embark on the race that is set before us with fresh determination this Lent, making an effort over and above the norm.”

Finally, Lent reminds us of what the Christian life is about, and encourages us to pursue it.

So this Lent, GIVE UP the things you don’t need, GIVE TIME to God in prayer and reflection and GIVE COMPASSION and LOVE to the people who need it.

- Ashley Mwanza