WHO do I
want to be and how do I want to be remembered? I only have this one life to
live and to love others, this one chance to pour it out and make a difference.
I thought about all the things I truly desired to do and all the reasons
that I wasn’t doing them.
I think
that most often the reasons why we don’t live our lives the way we really
want to is because we are afraid of what others might think of us. I am glad
this has not been the reason or thing that has kept me from doing what I want
to do and really living my life to my fullest potential.
Many have
the fear of not fitting in or being judged by others as different, but, what is so wrong about being different? Are
we really happy when we are living a mediocre life, suppressing our uniqueness
and withholding our gifts from the world? Is there any potential for growth and
change in our lives if we never break away from the need to be approved of by
others?
One thing
that I have always wanted to do was start a blog, I wanted to
believe that some people would read it and actually relate to me.
Maybe some people might actually even be inspired by it, just as I was
inspired by many people, books and blogs. I caught their
inspirational bug and I started blogging in February of 2009. At that time
in my life I had been so excited about my successes, progress, faith and pursuing
spiritual things that I needed an outlet to share it with others who
also had this passion.
Well, It’s
never a smooth ride, I received several negative, cutting comments. One in particular
that got me really upset, until I realized that person’s comment was there to
teach me something about myself. I had to ask myself why I was getting angry
and defensive about it. It was that particular comment that was a test for me
to really affirm to myself who I was and what I believed. I heard that voice
inside me asking “If I truly
believe what I am doing for my life is right for me and I am writing from my
heart and not my ego then, why do I let myself get upset?” I
also had to ask myself if I truly believed that everyone is supposed to agree
with me and love me all of the time and realized how unrealistic and
non-beneficial that actually was. If life was always ‘good’ and
everybody liked us all the time, what would we actually have to work against to
become truly better people? If we never had those people in our lives who get
us angry or upset and reveal those parts of ourselves to ourselves, how would we
grow into stronger and more confident people?
While I
did consider quitting, I decided against it. I never intended for this blog to
be very popular and I still don’t. I consider it mostly an outlet for my
thoughts and a scrapbook of memories that I will have to keep for those dear to
me to look back on. I am getting stronger and more confident everyday on my
journey to letting all of myself exist by channelling my thoughts.
In letting my true self come out in my writings, I
have also had several people message me and tell me that they love reading it
and that I am helping them and inspiring them to become their true selves as
well. That is what especially gives me joy and confirms to me that when we let
our light shine in the world and are not afraid of being ourselves, we
unconsciously allow others to do the same. When we take our actions from love
instead of fear, we grow and allow for change in our lives and in the lives of
others.
I think so many times we get caught up in our
thoughts, with worrying about the future, swelling on the past or just a
general going through the motions that we forget to appreciate where we are and
what we have now. Everyday each one of us is changing, learning and
growing and we will continue to do so until we die. And that is the reality, we
will all die someday. Life is constantly changing and presenting you
opportunities to be who you were created to be and many of us shoot down
opportunities all over the place because of fear.
Circumstances are always changing, life and
death are experienced daily, children grow up, people will judge and criticize,
but people will also love and encourage. We influence each other and
we are influenced by others. Life is happening now, you are on now and
time is not going to wait for you. You have this one opportunity to live your
life to your fullest potential, be who you want to be and live your life the
way you really want to. You have this day to choose to break out of your
comfortable mediocre existence and reach out and take hold of the life that you
truly desire.
When you pass away (which you will), how do
you want to be remembered? What do you hope that your life will have meant to
others and to the uplifting of the world? If you aren’t living your life
in a way that serves your highest potential, what is it that is keeping you
back? If it is the fear of what others might think about you, I am sorry to say
that is a poor excuse. Is that going to rob you from your potential and
expressing yourself as the uniquely created being that you are?
I came up with a list of things that I thought
about for myself and my life that I hope to be remembered for:
- Someone who extended love to others
- Cared deeply about the environment, people and
animals
- Inspired others to live a life they love
- Appreciated the simple things in life
- Was honest and real, not interested in
pretending to be somebody else
- Was an extremely loving father and husband
(not married and no kids yet haha)
- Valued time with family and friends
- Enjoyed nature, walking and being outside
- Enjoyed exercise and valued health and
happiness
- Respected others opinions
- Set goals and was determined to keep growing,
changing and learning
- Knew who he was and what he loved, not afraid
of being himself
- Had a passion for writing and sharing with
others. Wrote many inspiring things and helped many people
- Was a good cook (those who know me might laugh
at this one)
- Friendly
- Not externally or materialistically
minded
- Compassionate
- His faith was important to him
- Was interested in spiritual things
- Always saw the best in everyone
- Patient
- Happy and excited for what life would hold
- Never gave up, no matter what!
We don’t often think about the bigger picture and
what our lives really mean, but each one of us is unique and has a role that no
one else can play in this production we call life. Making a list such as the
one above can help you to identify what it is that you truly want for your life
and take action toward becoming the person that you want to be.
The one thing to always remember is that you are on
now. I need you to do your part, so that I can do mine. Your playing small in
life does not serve the world. You were born for greatness and your life is
meant to be remembered by every life that you touched. Remember
who you are, you are unique and you are different. You aren’t meant to be like
anybody else, but you. Only you know what you really love and can follow the
voice of your spirit.
Ashley
Mwanza
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