Ashley Mwanza

THE head of a monastery and his disciple had finished looking after the sick, so they left the village and headed home. After a 45 minute trek in the woods, they came to the most difficult part of their journey, a wide, raging stream that had to be crossed. But today was different, for standing close by was a lovely maiden that also wanted to cross so that she could visit her uncle who lived on the other side.

Sensing her distress, the head of the monastery approached the young lady and said, “If you can place your trust in me, I will carry you across the stream.” She agreed and thanked him. He scooped her in his arms and entered the stream, followed by his disciple. Although the ten-minute trip across was arduous, they arrived safely. The elderly monk put her down, said farewell, and he and his disciple continued on their way to the distant monastery.

An hour and a half later, they had finally reached the gateway to the monastery. But instead of being relieved, the disciple appeared agitated. When he was asked what was wrong, the disciple replied, “Master, as monks we have taken vows to never touch women. Yet, you carried the maiden in your arms.” “Yes, I did,” answered the master, “but I put her down ten minutes later. It is YOU who are still carrying her.”

Like the disciple, many of us refuse to put down what is troubling us. We carry resentment, anger, hostility, mistrust, suspicion, grudges, fear, anxiety, worries, and other burdens. How can we travel very far if we are weighed down by so many concerns? When will we learn to drop our cares, release our worries, and let go of whatever is troubling us? The above story holds a very potent lesson.

Letting go means surrendering our ego and will. It means trusting that what is aligned to our highest good and what will bring us the greatest joy will be provided for us. It means not holding onto every detail of our lives with the intention to control them. It is the process of releasing people, situations, thoughts, habits and patterns that no longer serve us.

“We can never turn back the pages of time, though we may wish to relive a happy moment, or say goodbye just one last time, we never can, because the sands of time continue to fall, and we can’t turn the hourglass over.”

But if you sincerely desire to reinvent yourself, to be the you that hasn’t emerged but you know you can be, let go. Say thank you for the old days, and purge them.

Yossi Ghinsberg says it is scary to let go; fear strikes. But fear is the best guide. It shows you the way, always towards it, never away from it. If you run from it, it will chase you forever. Letting go is the essence of life. One cannot hold onto anything, for nothing can be held; everything is in a constant state of flux. Letting go is the art of understanding the most basic principle of life. If you let go of your false position as conductor and assume your role as a part of the symphony, your music will be unique, flowing from all that you are, from your natural and most serene state of being.

Once you give up your need to be the conductor. Wow, what a sense of relief, what a load you were carrying; trying to control the uncontrollable. Your lungs fill with air now, you can breathe, and the strain on your shoulders, that constant pain you had become accustomed to, fades away. The music within you is miraculous.

As Barack Obama took up his presidency in 2009 he uttered words that talk to all of us, he said, “If you're walking down the right path and you're willing to keep walking, eventually you'll make progress. We have to acknowledge the progress we made, but understand that we still have a long way to go, that things are better, but still not good enough.” That is so true, if you’re willing to keep walking, you’ll make progress, and if you do not walk you remain in the same spot. And so to progress you have to let go and move on. You still have you.

Start your life all over again in 2014. It begins and ends with you. Letting go, and moving on starts with you. Move on in life, carrying only the sweet memories of the past and hope for the future. Remember, only when you let go, you gain something. Stand up and walk out of your history. When you accept that the past is behind you, and that it never comes back, you can move forward. Letting go today frees you for tomorrow, where 2014 awaits.

There is the old adage that says; “when the horse dies…dismount” I need not expatiate. Attachment is like holding on tightly to something that is always slipping through your fingers, it just gives you rope burn. But letting go, nonattachment, relieves the constant, painful irritation. Letting go is the practice, and the art, of being. We must let go of the past and start living for today!

Something we need to let go of is the idea that we need to be perfect. As well the fact that perfection is an impossible goal, the only thing you need to do to be happy is to be you, imperfections and all.

Letting go does not mean giving up, becoming passive, or accepting the status quo. It just means loosening your grip on life, accepting that many things are beyond your control, and trusting that whatever happens in your life, there will be wonderful opportunities for learning, growth, choice, freedom and happiness. Let go and let life happen.

For me letting go is a stepping stone on the path to total and complete self-love. It is what allows us to remove the unnecessary worry and stress and see the peacefulness and joy that lies in surrendering to the flow of life.

Whatever begins also ends. The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning. Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending when all is accomplished, we all want a perfect ending, so let us work at it. For that matter the beginning is always today, so let us get started, let go, and work our way to the end, and hence get to the beginning of great things.

May 2014, be the year you achieve some great things. Have a Blessed One!

EVERY now and then we go through a time, a phase, or a moment perhaps, when we lose hope, feel exhausted or stuck- in a rut, if I must add. How do you feel? Or what do you do about it?

I say slow down. Take a breath. Get a pen and paper and start to write out all the good things that have ever happened to you either by chance or by choice. Write down all your achievements no matter how trivial. This is to remind yourself that you are good enough. In fact you are great!

There will be many times in our personal and professional life when we'll get to that point, often, where we are dissatisfied with our life, our growth and progress. It is natural and it is good because it means that we are striving to be better, to be more than average. Once we know these moments are inevitable and even necessary it becomes easier to deal with.

Another thing is to calm your mind and screen your thoughts. What kind of thoughts are in your head? Are you self-loathing because you are comparing yourself with other people who are well off? Are you casting yourself down because of one failure or adversity? Are you worried about the uncertainty of your future? Stop it! Censor your thoughts. Your thoughts determine the way you feel so why feel bad?

This is where Napoleon Hill's wisdom comes in handy. He says 'There is a seed of equivalent benefit for each and every adversity and failure you encounter'. Think about it. How many times has your disappointment been a blessing in disguise? I have lost count.

If you already have a fool-proof plan for your future or the life you desire and it isn't working out. Rather than keep pushing, go back to the drawing board and re-strategize. It's beneficial to always revise your plans. You don't want to get to the end of the journey only to realise you have been on the wrong bus all along.

There is no smooth way to success. In fact, success is not a destination. Success is like happiness. It is within you, it comes forth from your efforts, thoughts, actions and acknowledgement. You create your own happiness as much as your success. The universe doesn't owe you anything. You owe it to yourself to attain success and happiness if you so desire. You create your own luck through your actions and through ceasing opportunities. Your destiny is in your hands. Think about it, everything you get is as a result of your thought or handiwork. In other words, you reap what you sow; you lie on the bed you lay; you get a spicy pot of soup if you add too much pepper or too little tomatoes. You get the gist. Everything you get is your own doing. The minute you realise this, the easier it will be for you to stop blaming others for your problems and the faster you will be at taking responsibility for your life.

Friends will advise and judge you; family may not see any good in you or may demand too much from you. Let me tell you this, there is not winning. There is no satisfying them. No matter how low you bend, no matter how many backsides you kiss, no matter how much pride you swallow, they (humans) will never be satisfied.

Last but not least. Do you. Think about you. Love you. Cherish you. Appreciate you. You cannot give what you don't have. If you don't look after yourself, you cannot look after your family. If you don't love yourself, you are useless to your loved ones. So, as selfish as you think it sounds, put yourself first. Always satisfy your preferences. Do not yearn for validation; it only cripples your self-esteem.

You are whole and complete on your own. You are wise. Just be calm and listen to the inner you. You are beautiful.

Nobody knows really what their journey is about. We are just making it up as we go along. So would you be the learner on the driver's seat of your life? Or would you rather another novice who has equally no clue what his own life is about?

- Zeenat Sarumi